褒めてくれる人と一緒にいよう

褒めてくれる人と一緒にいよう

アイキャッチ画像はは2年ほど前、長野の善光寺へ行った時に見つけたツツジです。

優しく可愛い桃色に、思わず

きゅん!

として何枚も写真を撮ったことをよく覚えています。旅行に行ってもこういう写真を撮って、「どこに行ったんだっけ?」となることがしばしばあります笑

さてさて。今回のエントリーは、前々職に勤めていた時、当時の社長からいただいた言葉を元にしています。

私が最初に勤めた企業は、エステティックサロンを日本全国に展開している従業員約1,000名規模の中小企業でした。

従業員の9割は現場のエステテシャンで、全員女性です。私も半年間は名古屋のサロンで勤めていました。その後本部の人事部に異動になり、採用の仕事をメインにしていました。

いわゆる社内報を毎月1度のペースで広報部が発行していたのですが、その中に社長の一言たる項目があり、私はそれを読むのを毎回楽しみにしていました。当時の社長は非常にお話がうまく、かつご自身が大変な苦労を重ねていらっしゃるので、胸に響く言葉がいつもところどころに散りばめられています。(余談ですが、優秀な経営者は往往にしてお話がうまく、かつ声が良い気がします)

その中でも特に印象に残っている言葉がこちら。(印刷物を持っているわけではないので、正確な言葉ではありません)

  • 自分を褒めてくれる人と一緒にいよう

社長がまだ経営者として若かったとき、現場のエステテシャンの一人に、お世辞にもあまり可愛いとは言いがたい社員(A子さん)がいたそうです。A子さんはいつもニコニコ明るく接客をしてくれるので、お客様からの評判も良く売り上げも良い。社長は「なぜそんなにニコニコいられるんだろう?」といつも不思議に思っていました。なのである時A子さんに聞いてみました。

「あなたはなぜ毎日笑顔でいられるの?」

A子さんはいつもの笑顔でニコッとしながらこう教えてくれました。

「私、両親からずーっと、お前は美人だ、なんでもできる、世界で一番だよって言われてきたんです。だから私高校生になるまで自分が世界で一番美人だと思い込んでました(笑)さすがに高校生になって周りも見えてきて評価も分かるようになって、ようやく自覚したんです。私は決して美人なんかではない。中の下か中の中くらいだって。でもそこまでずっと自信を持って生きてきたんで、根本的には変わらなかったんですよね。」

と。

その時社長は、「そうか。人は良い意味で勘違いができるんだ」と目から鱗だったそう。

私もこのエピソードを聞いた時、妙に納得しました。

自分のことを思い返しても、そして周囲をみても、身近な人に否定されるのか肯定されるのかで、自分の評価や自信が大きく変わります。そしてそれは人格を変えてしまいます。

どうせなら、ポジティブな言葉をくれる人と一緒にいた方が良い。そして自分も身近な人には出来るだけポジティブな言葉をかけてあげたい(夫には、心配からやんややんやと言ってしまいますが^^;)。

上記のような話は、キューティーブロンドという映画の主人公にも現れているように思います。

すでにご覧になった方も多いと思いますが、主人公であるエルは裕福な家で両親に愛されて育ちます。ハイスクール時代は皆のマドンナ的なエル。嫌味もなく、周りからも愛されています。恋人に振られたことを機にハーバード大学のロースクールを志しますが、ハナからできる!と思えたのは、そこまで育ってきたエルの環境が全てだと私は感じました。

映画の中ではあまりフォーカスされていませんが、エルの強さは両親にあり!!と強く思います。

  • 自分を褒めてくれる人と一緒にいること

精神衛生上、最も良いですし、褒められると褒めたくなる、という相乗効果もあります。

ただ一方で、

  • 褒める

というのは難しい時もあります。身近な人だからこそ心配のあまり余計なことを言ってしまうことも・・・。

そんな時は、まずは相手の意見を認めるようにしています。できない時もありますが!笑

ただ、変えられないこと、無理に変える必要のないこと、例えば

  • 外見
  • 趣味

などについては、否定する意味がないですし、(よっぽどやばい趣味だと話は別ですが)特に外見!!

女子は一生のトラウマになったりもするので、とにかく「美人美人美人」と言うに越したことはありません。

私も、まだ子供はいませんが、もし授かることができたら褒めて褒めて育ててあげたいなぁと思います。難しい時もたくさんあると思います、ので日頃から癖づけよう!

今日は夫を褒めたかな?忘れちゃいました笑

明日は褒めまくろう〜!それではまた^^

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